我的美國同事的內心世界

看完第一本我在 Kindle 上買的書，居然是我一直有點怕的副院長寫的，它居然是一本談宗教的書（乍看甚至像是傳教用的），而且我居然真心覺得很好看。

原因大概有幾個：作者身份與形象帶來的衝突與好奇（此人是自由派學者，平時從不談論宗教話題）；高高在上的知名學者對不怎麼戲劇化的教職人生的細緻體悟與誠實分享（這部分很能感動苦海無邊的學術界後輩，還有點《目送》的人生況味）；以及，人在美國不免對外表看來很正常的美國人的內心世界感到好奇但從來不明所以，那個世界有兩樣很重要的東西：信仰，以及球賽，本書皆有著墨。

此書文字精練， 還好我發現 Kindle 兩個好處，一是在健身房時比較好用，二是可以把畫線部分下載，因此我在百忙中把書摘分類作註，與各位分享。

關於宗教與人生

Often we are far from home, if we are even sure where “home” is.

I want to explore this way and invite others to join me, especially the many seekers who would believe if only they could–and those who do believe but are not sure they should. (這書竟然是寫給我這種人看的)

Fundamentalism–whether Islamic, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, or otherwise–has become stronger as a means of controlling the uncontrollable, as a backlash against change, and as a retreat into certainty, which unfortunately translates into division and clash of belief rather than community. （基本教義派實來自深層恐懼）

I worry that the conversation of faith too closely resembles how the poet, W. B. Yeats, expressed it: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity” (from “The Second Coming”). (這句很巧妙，也有如台灣現況)

By most standards, my life has its share of success, but I know that, no matter how well I do, the threat of mediocrity or ordinariness lies just around the corner. （Endless self-criticism，我懷疑他是處女座的）

The drive for professional success, the everyday crisis of quiet desperation and unfulfilled ambition, can hinder spiritual productivity. （難怪這兩年我常覺得自己俗不可耐）

關於寫作

as I look back on my writing, I realize that I share a great deal about myself, more than perhaps I ever thought I might, and more than I often think I have. （這種長句我很愛）

關於為人師

I’m a college professor, and I tell my students that means I’m a professional learner. I think and learn–then I write and teach about what I’ve learned. （原來這麼簡單，奇怪此前我為何一直想不清楚教授是什麼樣的職業）

James anticipates one of the pitfalls of the occupation, the possibility that we begin to act out of our own ego and pride rather than a genuine desire to serve students with sensitivity toward their own needs and difficulties. （為何教書頭幾年總是十分困難）

Teaching is naturally closely tied to one’s selfimage. If a class goes well or students tell me they enjoyed something I said, it lifts me up; when even a single comment is critical, it discourages me. （我以為只有新老師才會這樣）

Even after all these years, I often have classic presemester dreams: the class has started and I don’t know where to find the classroom or my notes. I’m woefully unprepared. (我作夢也沒想過副院長也會作這種夢)

Sometimes I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. But on those days, I try to rethink my attitude. Of course, I have something I want to say and a structure in which to say it, but I am also there in part simply to spend time with students, to make myself available to them for whatever develops during the class. （課前恐慌症發作時最好的心理治療）

The public aspect of academic work makes it easy to compare ourselves to others. Our professional resumes go with us from job to job, and we post them on our websites for anyone to see. How do I measure up? No matter how much professional recognition I receive, it is never enough. （It is never enough… 難怪我這麼忙）

As I grow, I think it’s natural to progress from teaching what I’ve been taught to teaching what I’ve lived. （從”為經師”變成”為人師”）

I will strive to uphold the best values of the intellectual life, avoiding cynicism and resignation to the status quo. （學者的自我期許，或警惕）

關於工作與休息

To stop working for a day, to honor the Sabbath as a spiritual principle, means having faith that the necessary work will still get done, but also that work isn’t everything, that we are more than our work. （周日休息的意義）

However, it’s often easy to use the way society values work to tell ourselves how well we’re doing: hours spent at the office, salary, and the “stuff” that salary provides. （”stuff” 這個字真是神來之筆）

關於人與人

We are expected to love and to receive love, to love without the condition that we be loved in return, and to receive love without the expectation that it be given.

If I’m not careful, at work I can become resentful that an adversary may receive something to which I don’t think she’s entitled. I can even get a little jealous of colleagues who earn more money than I do.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, in Living a Life that Matters, wrote of his own striving to meet two basic human needs: to feel successful and important, and to think of himself as a good person.（兩大人生目標）

關於未來與未知

The world beckons with a multi-channel universe, tantalizing us with images of possibilities always beyond our reach. What kind of exciting life do we think is going on somewhere else? Is there somewhere else we’d rather live, someone else we’d rather be with? （夢想總在他方）

We want to know where our careers are going and who’s going along with us. Becoming aware of God at work in the present moment means giving up the desire for control, and that’s tough. Jesus frequently warned his followers not to be anxious about the future, but many of us are paid to be anxious.

While I’ve waited to find the perfect job, town, home, and church–endlessly distracting searches–my life has turned inward. That’s where my biggest challenge lies. （到處漂流的人必有此心聲）

When we’re younger, the possibilities of job and lifestyle seem unlimited, but as time goes by we confront a progressively more limited path produced by our life choices.

關於球賽

I often think it gives us something convenient to talk about so we don’t have to get too personal.

The irony of sports is that it allows us to care passionately about something that doesn’t mean anything. （關於運動最精闢的見解）

with the overpaid coaching the undereducated. （真想與迷足球的大學生分享）

Paul knew there could be no competition among children of God because we are one body, with one Lord, one cup of blessing that we share. There is only the competition within ourselves to be more of what the grace of God calls us to be. （和自己賽跑的人）

關於傳教

As interpreted by some believers, the commission seems like a kind of spiritual “pyramid scheme” in which one’s status in the organization is tied to the number of new recruits (souls) won for Christ. （傳教行為像老鼠會！）

The Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses do the extreme witnessing. I have to admit that they put themselves on the line for their beliefs. They seem agreeable enough, but when I see them in the neighborhood I pretend I’m not home. （不只是摩門教士，只要有活人按鈴，我幾乎都得馬上躲起來，因為“會有什麼好事？” 這是住美國平房最可怕的一件事。）

In the wonderful documentary Nobelity, featuring interviews with a number of Nobel Prize winners, Bishop Desmond Tutu explains the importance of openness toward the beliefs of others–that God sees things more inclusively than we ever can. “God is not a Christian,” he said.

看完這本書，我在心裏偷偷把這位令人敬畏的老師、同事、與上司當成了朋友，這真是始料未及的一大收穫。